NASFAM, the National Smallholder Farmers’ Association of Malawi, is the country’s largest farmer organization with more than 120,000 members. Women’s empowerment is one of NASFAM’s main priorities, but empowerment programs can—and some would say “must”—work with men to address gendered norms that hold women back. Farming presents a natural opportunity to work with husbands and wives because it is something they both do. Whether they are working together in the same field or separately, it is their combined production that goes into putting food on the table and keeping a roof over their heads.

Connex Malera initially resisted his wife Dyna’s appeals to attend a meeting of the producer group she had joined. But after he consented and attended one meeting, he could see that working within a group had its advantages. What happened then is something he didn’t expect. NASFAM offers farmers training in running an agribusiness; as part of the training, instructors help participants examine gender dynamics in their household and how these dynamics affect their ability to achieve their business goals. By working together with his wife on a vision of what they wanted to accomplish together, he was in a sense forced to listen to her ideas about farming, and it was a surprise to him how smart she is—smarter than he is, he thought.

“I used to say this is a wife and her job is to cook and take care of the children,” Connex told Bread for the World Institute at a meeting with the producer group. “I am the head of the household and it is my job to make all the decisions. Now we discuss and make decisions together.”

The value of having men in the group extends beyond the changes in the male participants themselves, because they become ambassadors for change among other men in the community. They have more credibility than women do when they make the case to other men for suspending their biases against working with women. Connex recruits other men to the group now. But he does this in subtle ways, often talking with them at informal gatherings where they may be playing a board game or drinking. At first, the other men dismissed his argument that there was any benefit to working with women. Eventually they grew curious: first after noticing that his income was rising, and then when the hungry season came and he had plenty of food while they were running out.

One of the men Connex recruited was Sungani Selemani, who recounted how he used to share Connex’s attitude that it was useless to discuss business with women. Today, he has joined the group with his wife, and they discuss all of their household matters and make decisions together. In addition, he says, he has quit drinking and stopped hitting his wife when he is unhappy.

Yusef Dickson has also quit drinking and says that the group has helped him to become a better husband and father. A musician, Yusef has composed a song about his transformation. And when we spoke with him, he also shared a story about how the training they have participated in together has also changed his wife. “After she had sold her groundnuts, I had not yet finished with my tobacco. She came to me and said take this money and use what you need to finish your tobacco. That taught me a lot. Previously, she was just like me—keeping the money she made from her groundnuts for herself. All the money I made from my tobacco I kept for myself. She never knew how much I made and I never told her. Now we share everything we earn.”